THE BIG GREEN MONSTER
I'm always seeing something in the local or national news where someone is sentenced to life in prison or put on death row because they killed out of jealousy. Recently a twenty year old man was sentenced to life in prison without parole for murdering his girlfriend. He killed her because he was jealous of her new relationship with someone else. For the rest of his life he's going to be locked up in a twelve by twelve foot cell He won't go to the beach, watch the seasons change, drive a car, go on vacation, or eat what he wants to eat. If he lives as long as the average man in America does, he'll spend the next fifty five years of his life behind bars. Just because of jealousy.
If you do nothing else in life, rid yourself of jealousy. It's a state of mind that's not only emotionally disturbing, but deadly as well. Being jealous is your own doing, not the fault of someone else.
I used to be jealous. I know what it feels like. You walk around with anxiety the size of a basketball burning in your guts. Your self esteem plummets. You feel removed from everyone around you. You're sad, you're angry, and no amount of drugs or alcohol will make those feelings go away. You wonder what that your former lover's doing and who they're seeing. Is someone else enjoying the same great life you had when the two of you were together?
Jealousy causes some people to take their own lives. Over what? Another person? Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary emotional problem. Others decide to take matters into their own hands. They kill whoever they believe is the cause of their relentless pain and anxiety.
The best advice I have to get rid of jealousy is to be patient. Don't try to drink or drug or work your way out of it. All the positive thinking you can muster won't make the big green monster go away. It'll still be there in the morning when you wake up and when you try to sleep at night. It'll haunt you because it's tough just to turn and walk away. But that’s what you're doing. You're walking away from something that was once beautiful and enthralling. And though it hurts and the pain seems unrelenting, you're not the person you used to be. You're different now than you were when the two of you were together. Embrace that difference. Don't let the past drag you back to something that doesn't exist anymore.
Understand that the best relationships you have in life are those that leave the door open. That at anytime your lover is free to leave and fly around life without you. Once you do that, the green monster goes away forever. You don't own anyone’s soul, but more importantly, you’ll discover as I did that they don't own yours either.